The Price Is Right

Oh, the ways my heart can break.
Richie points to a picture of Nathan and insists "dah-d".
Dad.
I blame myself; I have made a tremendous effort to help my son recognize his father's face. Directing my focus towards helping both of them realize the connection they share, has apparently only failed where Nathan is concerned. All day Richie has insisted on having a photograph of Nathan close to him. He walked from toy to toy with "dah-d" in hand. There will only be more interest and curiosity. Will I only ever have a check as proof that Richie has a father?
I feel, even more strongly after today, that a bank account is a sorry substitute for a parent. However, I find myself considering filing for child support. Nathan has declared that he will be setting money aside for Richie. For this, I would be gracious. I would, if we hadn't tried that before. Leaving Nathan to his own discretion, influenced heavily by a serious lack of understanding, it is no wonder that it did not work out. A savings account for Richie is a sound idea, taking into consideration all the uncertainties the future has to offer. It is difficult to view Nathan with anything but skepticism. I find it hard to understand why, if he is willing to offer up money for Richie, that he does not just voluntairily pay child support. Except that I know he will not actually follow through if left to independant enforcement. The prospect of government regulation would require he identify the reality of a child. I do not want to force Nathan to be or do anything against his self serving ideals. I wonder if my son will be affected if Nathan fulfills a financial responsibility or not. I know that Nathan will act in an even more negative manner if I do pursue child support from him. Will my choice affect whether or not he ever considers a more substantial role in Richie's life?
It is unfair that Richie is the one who truly suffers in this situation.