I woke up this morning so excited! Why? Well, Jennie and I were supposed to be taking the kids to the beach. I got out of bed and could hardly keep myself from waking up Richie. I waited for him to wake up on his own. Then I rushed like a mad person to get him dressed and the diaper bag packed so I would be ready by the time Jennie and I set, 10:00. I was calling Jennie all morning with no answer. I figured she was trying to get her and Alaina ready. She finally picked up at 10 minutes to 10. She sounded like sand paper. You know, the painful and scratchy sound two pieces of sand paper make when you rub them together. Yeah, that is the sound that came through the phone masquerading as Jennie's voice.
Jennie has gotten sick from Amara now too. First Richie got sick, then Alaina, and now Jennie. I refuse to get sick! In order to secure my immunity, I spent all day with Jennie. And we ate ice cream from Cold Stone. It's good for what ails ya! I wish we could have gone to the beach but I would have hated for Jennie to have a horrible time. Alaina is still pretty sick too, and the beach is breezy on the warmest day.
I was hoping my dad would be able to get time off work tomorrow because I haven't really gotten to spend any time with him since I've been here. We were going to make a trip into San Francisco. However, it's looking like he will only get half a day off, at the most. What a way to end my vacation!
I am looking forward to being home. It's comfortable, familiar, and affordable. California is so gosh darn expensive it's hard to comprehend moving back. Texas is a nice place to settle down and raise a family. I don't need the hustle, the bustle or the smog. It is nice having places to shop besides your friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart, but nothing beats a breath of fresh air. And reasonable gas prices. There are so many reasons to stay far from this evil money devouring pit. And so many things that keep bringing me back.
Showing posts with label family ties. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family ties. Show all posts
turn down upside
Yesterday was the barbecue with my grandmother and other family members. I had told my grandma on Saturday that we would show up Sunday at about 12:30. After a heart attack at the first church service, attending the second service, and a couple hours for portraits of Richie and my little sister Ryann, we finally made at 4:00 p.m. Everyone was already there. I couldn't even get in the door to greet everyone before I was hit with a crowd of hugs and strange hands reach out to touch Richie. Richie was really good about being passed around.
I can't, honestly, say that it wasn't strange seeing all my family members like that. What they lack in normalcy they make up for generously with dysfunction. Since my papa passed away, we've been stuck. The whole lot of us, stuck. I didn't realize his extraordinary staying power until we all fell apart without him. When he got cancer, we two steps behind but protected him all the same. Before the cancer could kill him, we submerged him in love. He couldn't take a full breath, but he breathed love onto all of us. I think he would cry if he saw the ash we are. I am. I am ash. Every time I hum my favorite song, photograph a moment, share a bit of time with the ones I love, I wonder what stories they'll tell at my funeral. Will anyone remember my favorite song? Will I die before my dad? Will I bury my son? Will he bury me? With a disturbing detachment, I associate everything with death. How long can tragedy attack this family before we all fall victim to perpetual funeral planning?
All these thoughts were running through my mind as I visited with my family. Since we can't function without him, we are always telling stories about him or talking about what he would do if he were still here. We all kept so much of him alive, and maybe that makes it harder to move on. It's like he is still with us everyday. I look at my grandma, now great grandmother to my son, and wonder how burying two lovers could leave her with a life worth waking up to. I see the mark of misfortune on each of us, and I wonder why do any of us get out of bed in the morning.
Then I look at my son and I remember what a blessing life is.
I can't, honestly, say that it wasn't strange seeing all my family members like that. What they lack in normalcy they make up for generously with dysfunction. Since my papa passed away, we've been stuck. The whole lot of us, stuck. I didn't realize his extraordinary staying power until we all fell apart without him. When he got cancer, we two steps behind but protected him all the same. Before the cancer could kill him, we submerged him in love. He couldn't take a full breath, but he breathed love onto all of us. I think he would cry if he saw the ash we are. I am. I am ash. Every time I hum my favorite song, photograph a moment, share a bit of time with the ones I love, I wonder what stories they'll tell at my funeral. Will anyone remember my favorite song? Will I die before my dad? Will I bury my son? Will he bury me? With a disturbing detachment, I associate everything with death. How long can tragedy attack this family before we all fall victim to perpetual funeral planning?
All these thoughts were running through my mind as I visited with my family. Since we can't function without him, we are always telling stories about him or talking about what he would do if he were still here. We all kept so much of him alive, and maybe that makes it harder to move on. It's like he is still with us everyday. I look at my grandma, now great grandmother to my son, and wonder how burying two lovers could leave her with a life worth waking up to. I see the mark of misfortune on each of us, and I wonder why do any of us get out of bed in the morning.
Then I look at my son and I remember what a blessing life is.
moving on
I just got home from Jennie's new house. It is so nice. They've got four bedrooms (all on the second floor) and three bathrooms. They've also got a massive garage, a great kitchen, living room, and patio! It's perfect for their growing family. Jennie's little sister Stephanie is moving in with them soon. Should be interesting. I wish them all the best in their newest endeavor.
I had stopped by Jennie's after a visit with my Aunt Jen, Aunt Julie, Uncle Chuck, and cousins Maddie and Landon. We went to this horrid little Chinese buffet. I brought food for Richie, which he threw up quite hastily and continuously. I ate nothing. Not until I ordered pizza at Jennie's house (which I ate a disgusting amount of, for shame!). It was nice, however, to see those members of my family. My cousin Landon is four months older than Richie and he is growing into such a cute little man! Maddie is four years old now and loves playing dolls with Ryann. Ryann is finally getting to the age where she likes playing with children in Richie's age group and Maddie's.
Richie is at such an odd age right now. Sometimes he wants to play, sometimes he wants to be left alone. Tonight he did everything he could while at Jennie's house to destroy himself, as well as the house. He was going face forward off the couch like he thinks he's bigger than he is. He dumped a full mug of Sprite down the front of himself and onto the table and floor, trying to get a drink. He threw up on Jennie's floor. He nearly broke his nose by smashing his face on the floor after wrapping himself in a blanket and doing a royal stroll around the house. Up until that point I had been happy for Jennie's hard wood floors to protect the non-existent carpet from my messy child. Then he slammed his face on it. The way he hit putt quite the red crease in his noise. I coddled him, of course, and he got over it. I didn't, but I will.
Tomorrow we are having a barbecue at my grandma's house and I can't wait to see what injuries he can inflict on himself in a new setting with new weapons.
Oh god. Please, no. I take it back.
Did I just curse myself? We'll find out tomorrow.
I had stopped by Jennie's after a visit with my Aunt Jen, Aunt Julie, Uncle Chuck, and cousins Maddie and Landon. We went to this horrid little Chinese buffet. I brought food for Richie, which he threw up quite hastily and continuously. I ate nothing. Not until I ordered pizza at Jennie's house (which I ate a disgusting amount of, for shame!). It was nice, however, to see those members of my family. My cousin Landon is four months older than Richie and he is growing into such a cute little man! Maddie is four years old now and loves playing dolls with Ryann. Ryann is finally getting to the age where she likes playing with children in Richie's age group and Maddie's.
Richie is at such an odd age right now. Sometimes he wants to play, sometimes he wants to be left alone. Tonight he did everything he could while at Jennie's house to destroy himself, as well as the house. He was going face forward off the couch like he thinks he's bigger than he is. He dumped a full mug of Sprite down the front of himself and onto the table and floor, trying to get a drink. He threw up on Jennie's floor. He nearly broke his nose by smashing his face on the floor after wrapping himself in a blanket and doing a royal stroll around the house. Up until that point I had been happy for Jennie's hard wood floors to protect the non-existent carpet from my messy child. Then he slammed his face on it. The way he hit putt quite the red crease in his noise. I coddled him, of course, and he got over it. I didn't, but I will.
Tomorrow we are having a barbecue at my grandma's house and I can't wait to see what injuries he can inflict on himself in a new setting with new weapons.
Oh god. Please, no. I take it back.
Did I just curse myself? We'll find out tomorrow.
disconnect
I got up this morning to talk to my mom after she left the ER. Yesterday she was in a car accident and had some subsequent back problems. While I was on the phone with her I received a beep from my call-waiting. Every time I see "Unknown ID" on my caller ID, I always think of Nathan. I don't ever expect it to be him, and generally it is a telemarketer. As the phone beeped again, I asked my mom to hold for a moment.
"Hello?"
"Hi.
pause
Brittany, it's Nathan."
Usually hearing his voice sends my heart into a twitterpated frenzy. In moments, I find hope where a starving man couldn't find a crumb. I can't imagine what it would be like to be stranded on an overgrown island with oceans, land between you and everything you ever cared about or ever could. This time, all I heard was the voice of a weak man searching for a connection.
The conversation that followed was surreal. He called to check in on Richie's health and apologize for his part in the negativity we created. I avoided saying "it's ok". I don't want to assume anything about Nathan. I know by tomorrow (when he said he would call again) everything he said today could be completely changed. I believe everything he said was true, but that is my own downfall.
"Hello?"
"Hi.
pause
Brittany, it's Nathan."
Usually hearing his voice sends my heart into a twitterpated frenzy. In moments, I find hope where a starving man couldn't find a crumb. I can't imagine what it would be like to be stranded on an overgrown island with oceans, land between you and everything you ever cared about or ever could. This time, all I heard was the voice of a weak man searching for a connection.
The conversation that followed was surreal. He called to check in on Richie's health and apologize for his part in the negativity we created. I avoided saying "it's ok". I don't want to assume anything about Nathan. I know by tomorrow (when he said he would call again) everything he said today could be completely changed. I believe everything he said was true, but that is my own downfall.
we're still on the payroll
Last night I decided to hop online to send my mom some pictures before bed and discovered I had a message from Chrissy! I had told her of my brief return to the sunshine state and she remembered. So, she says we should get together. Seeing as how I have missed her and her little one (August), I harassed her into braving public transit to come hang out with me. And she accepted! She called this morning and will be here in about an hour! I am so excited to see her (and August!). Last time I saw her little August was in August, when she was born. She was so tiny and made meager little noises that were some excuse for crying (she was two weeks old, Richie was 8 months I knew real crying). She's seven months old now and has changed so much. For that fact, so has Richie. I wish I had more time to spend with her. Last time they stayed for a couple hours and the poor lot of them were so exhausted. I don't want to just stand in the kitchen staring at the microwave clock for an hour, as I am sure that would only cause time to slow to halt, and Richie is taking a nap before they come so I decided to blog about my already-interesting morning.
Yesterday I was spoiled by Richie sleeping in. This morning I was jarred awake at a quarter to seven by one persistent little screecher. Sometimes I wonder if he considers the lack of playmate I am at such early hours. Mostly though, I doubt he cares. The whole house was already stirring with my dad running late for work, Ryann eating breakfast before school and Rocky looking after Sugar while making sure Ryann kept to her schedule. I sat on the couch, put Richie down, and let the world spin it's craziness around me. I even contemplated hiding in the bathroom. It's quiet there and the door locks.
Everyone left and I got Richie and I dressed. I realized Chrissy and I hadn't outlined a real plan except to say that today was okay. I decided that 8:00 a.m. was too early to call her and whimper about her coming over now. Rocky returned from dropping Ryann off at school. Richie played in the kitchen and Rocky was getting ready to take Sugar for a walk. Rocky and I got to commiserating about "rap music," pop culture icons, and "little Richmond". While we agreed on the negative juvenile influences in California, Richie ever so sneakily began shoving his face with handfuls of puppy food. Venison and rice dog food didn't sit well with his refined palatte and he began gagging and spitting. We laughed as I scoop food pellets from his gritty mouth. I decided he could have some cookies to chase down the nasty taste of dog good. With mommy laughing at him, he hesistantly shoved cookie after cookie in his mouth and drank lots of water. Much diarrhea followed.
Nearly 10:00 and already Richie has made my day, well, rich!
Yesterday I was spoiled by Richie sleeping in. This morning I was jarred awake at a quarter to seven by one persistent little screecher. Sometimes I wonder if he considers the lack of playmate I am at such early hours. Mostly though, I doubt he cares. The whole house was already stirring with my dad running late for work, Ryann eating breakfast before school and Rocky looking after Sugar while making sure Ryann kept to her schedule. I sat on the couch, put Richie down, and let the world spin it's craziness around me. I even contemplated hiding in the bathroom. It's quiet there and the door locks.
Everyone left and I got Richie and I dressed. I realized Chrissy and I hadn't outlined a real plan except to say that today was okay. I decided that 8:00 a.m. was too early to call her and whimper about her coming over now. Rocky returned from dropping Ryann off at school. Richie played in the kitchen and Rocky was getting ready to take Sugar for a walk. Rocky and I got to commiserating about "rap music," pop culture icons, and "little Richmond". While we agreed on the negative juvenile influences in California, Richie ever so sneakily began shoving his face with handfuls of puppy food. Venison and rice dog food didn't sit well with his refined palatte and he began gagging and spitting. We laughed as I scoop food pellets from his gritty mouth. I decided he could have some cookies to chase down the nasty taste of dog good. With mommy laughing at him, he hesistantly shoved cookie after cookie in his mouth and drank lots of water. Much diarrhea followed.
Nearly 10:00 and already Richie has made my day, well, rich!
the sun, the sand, and the wind in my hair
Yesterday my dad, my baby sister, Richie and I took off to visit my other sister and her boyfriend in Belmont (near Half Moon Bay). It took us about an hour and a half to get there from Antioch. Richie didn't mind the drive. I thought it was very pretty but it's hard to believe that there is so much stuff in California.
We went to the restaurant where my sister and her boyfriend (Alex) both work. It's called Lil Biscuit House. If you ever venture to Belmont/Half Moon Bay/Santa Cruz it's worth going a little out of your way to eat there. The owner, Marty, is also the chef. He attended culinary school in California and now makes HUGE, delicious plates at the restaurant he owns. His mom does catering out of his restaurant, as well. I can't tell you how good the food is! They have a smoker in the back where they smoke meat daily. I didn't try them, but my dad and sisters gushed over the ribs. I had shrimp scampi and it was very, very good! And there was so much! Usually they don't put much shrimp on your plate but Marty piled it on! I left stuffed (carrying an equally stuffed baby). I could go on and on; it was that good!
After a wonderful dining experience we headed over to the beach. It was Richie's first time at the beach and he loved it! Unfortunately it was too late to play in the tide pools but we still had fun. Richie was fascinated with the water until I put his feet in it. He enjoyed playing in the sand - even when he fell face first into it after trying to run on the beach. We stayed until it got so cold Richie was shivering in my lap.
We went to the restaurant where my sister and her boyfriend (Alex) both work. It's called Lil Biscuit House. If you ever venture to Belmont/Half Moon Bay/Santa Cruz it's worth going a little out of your way to eat there. The owner, Marty, is also the chef. He attended culinary school in California and now makes HUGE, delicious plates at the restaurant he owns. His mom does catering out of his restaurant, as well. I can't tell you how good the food is! They have a smoker in the back where they smoke meat daily. I didn't try them, but my dad and sisters gushed over the ribs. I had shrimp scampi and it was very, very good! And there was so much! Usually they don't put much shrimp on your plate but Marty piled it on! I left stuffed (carrying an equally stuffed baby). I could go on and on; it was that good!
After a wonderful dining experience we headed over to the beach. It was Richie's first time at the beach and he loved it! Unfortunately it was too late to play in the tide pools but we still had fun. Richie was fascinated with the water until I put his feet in it. He enjoyed playing in the sand - even when he fell face first into it after trying to run on the beach. We stayed until it got so cold Richie was shivering in my lap.
jiggity jig
No, I did not fall off the blog-obsessed face of the earth.
I should have spent all of the week before today indulging in neurotic travel-related behaviors. However, my chaotic splendor was interrupted by a torrent of loud visitors; aunt, uncle, and cousins. I won't go into the complicated reasons that brought them to my door step, but their visit was both unexpected and unappreciated. I spent the few days of their invasion following after them to clean up the trail of dirt they left. I have never cleaned so many dirty dishes in such a short time! The visit started off poorly as I selfishly pouted in response to the theft of my time to panic! It was mine and they stole it!
Regardless, I am now sitting in my dad's house typing on an unfamiliar keyboard. Richie went to bed two hours late (by Texas time). I fought him to the minute to keep him up as close to 8:00 (California time) as I could. We ate delcious chicken at Applewood Barbecue.
I know my thoughts are random. The day is catching up with me.
We had a long flight. A long, long flight.
I woke up at 5:00 this morning to get ready to leave by 6:00. I woke Richie up at 5:45. We were on the road by 6:15. Richie in his organic cotton pants, shirt, and adorable hoodie. Me, I was not so smart. I should have been wearing organic cotton loungy clothes. Instead, I had straightened hair, made-up face, and wore a dress. A dress with high heeled sandle wedges. I greatly questioned this decision as I ran out of the house juggling baby and diaper bag.
I chose to sit in the backseat to keep Richie awake, since I was hoping he would sleep for a solid chunk of our six hour flight time. He was not keen to staying awake. I handed him a stray color swatch from Home Depot that I found hiding in the pocket behind the front seat. I was desperate. It was a very long drive. With Richie farting and my mom expressing need for a bathroom, we drove straight through to San Antonio from Del Rio. Three hours and then some. Not a good start to the day.
When we pulled into San Antonio we decided to stop at Babies R Us to get Richie some new swim trunks for the trip, and to make use of their bathroom. We pulled into the parking lot at 9:09. The store opens at 9:30.
Great.
Then, it started raining. Further proof that their is no god.
We made it in and out of the store in record time. Like, world record time. I don't know of any baby-toting mama who has made it out of that store spending less than 20 minutes and 50 dollars. Somehow we pulled it off and made it to the airport in time for an iced chai tea latte.
Oh. yeah.
Airport security is insane. I had to remove Richie from my beloved Maya Wrap and I had to remove to his little leather Nikes. What could I possibly be hiding in his little size 2 shoes? I'm glad I don't know. And yet, we survived the security checkpoint. Really, they were all very nice. One of the security ladies carried mine and Richie's belongings over to a table and chair. That was probably the best part of the whole flight experience.
We boarded first. Keeping things consistent, I decided to regret getting on the plane so soon. Sure, we got to pick whatever seat we wanted. BUT, do you realize how slow everyone else was boarding? Waiting with Richie in my lap on a clammy plane was less than enjoyable. He was angry and I was counting down the moments until I could nurse him into Maya-wrapped slumber.
Ha!
He screamed for four hours. You know those times when your child is behaving so wildly you offer up a weak smile that screams endless apologies? I couldn't even bring myself to look at anyone. I felt bad for Richie. I felt bad for the other passengers. I was helpless. Helpless and trapped next to the window by a very fat man.
Then we landed in San Diego. On descent, Richie decided that maybe flying wasn't so bad. Everyone walked by and said how good he was. I offered up a certain smile. This one said, "If you only knew."
Richie was good while passengers departed and reloaded. You see, in my pre-travel brilliance, I booked a flight with no lay-over. We had one stop in San Diego, but we weren't allowed to get off. I think I am losing my common sense. I have made one bad choice after another.
Richie spent the little more than an hour to Oakland acting like an angel. He fooled all the new passengers into thinking he was a blue-eyed flirt and nothing more. How could eyes so blue ever squeeze out tears? Just ask the two guys who were sitting next to us, but moved for the second part of the flight. Yes, that's right; I scared two large Mexican men into giving up their seats. I owe it all to my little screamer.
Richie decided that since he was such a trooper on part two of the flight that he could poop all over us. It's a California-bound ritual. Not one that I particularly like.
Poop covered and exhausted, we made it.
I forgot how many buildings there were...
I should have spent all of the week before today indulging in neurotic travel-related behaviors. However, my chaotic splendor was interrupted by a torrent of loud visitors; aunt, uncle, and cousins. I won't go into the complicated reasons that brought them to my door step, but their visit was both unexpected and unappreciated. I spent the few days of their invasion following after them to clean up the trail of dirt they left. I have never cleaned so many dirty dishes in such a short time! The visit started off poorly as I selfishly pouted in response to the theft of my time to panic! It was mine and they stole it!
Regardless, I am now sitting in my dad's house typing on an unfamiliar keyboard. Richie went to bed two hours late (by Texas time). I fought him to the minute to keep him up as close to 8:00 (California time) as I could. We ate delcious chicken at Applewood Barbecue.
I know my thoughts are random. The day is catching up with me.
We had a long flight. A long, long flight.
I woke up at 5:00 this morning to get ready to leave by 6:00. I woke Richie up at 5:45. We were on the road by 6:15. Richie in his organic cotton pants, shirt, and adorable hoodie. Me, I was not so smart. I should have been wearing organic cotton loungy clothes. Instead, I had straightened hair, made-up face, and wore a dress. A dress with high heeled sandle wedges. I greatly questioned this decision as I ran out of the house juggling baby and diaper bag.
I chose to sit in the backseat to keep Richie awake, since I was hoping he would sleep for a solid chunk of our six hour flight time. He was not keen to staying awake. I handed him a stray color swatch from Home Depot that I found hiding in the pocket behind the front seat. I was desperate. It was a very long drive. With Richie farting and my mom expressing need for a bathroom, we drove straight through to San Antonio from Del Rio. Three hours and then some. Not a good start to the day.
When we pulled into San Antonio we decided to stop at Babies R Us to get Richie some new swim trunks for the trip, and to make use of their bathroom. We pulled into the parking lot at 9:09. The store opens at 9:30.
Great.
Then, it started raining. Further proof that their is no god.
We made it in and out of the store in record time. Like, world record time. I don't know of any baby-toting mama who has made it out of that store spending less than 20 minutes and 50 dollars. Somehow we pulled it off and made it to the airport in time for an iced chai tea latte.
Oh. yeah.
Airport security is insane. I had to remove Richie from my beloved Maya Wrap and I had to remove to his little leather Nikes. What could I possibly be hiding in his little size 2 shoes? I'm glad I don't know. And yet, we survived the security checkpoint. Really, they were all very nice. One of the security ladies carried mine and Richie's belongings over to a table and chair. That was probably the best part of the whole flight experience.
We boarded first. Keeping things consistent, I decided to regret getting on the plane so soon. Sure, we got to pick whatever seat we wanted. BUT, do you realize how slow everyone else was boarding? Waiting with Richie in my lap on a clammy plane was less than enjoyable. He was angry and I was counting down the moments until I could nurse him into Maya-wrapped slumber.
Ha!
He screamed for four hours. You know those times when your child is behaving so wildly you offer up a weak smile that screams endless apologies? I couldn't even bring myself to look at anyone. I felt bad for Richie. I felt bad for the other passengers. I was helpless. Helpless and trapped next to the window by a very fat man.
Then we landed in San Diego. On descent, Richie decided that maybe flying wasn't so bad. Everyone walked by and said how good he was. I offered up a certain smile. This one said, "If you only knew."
Richie was good while passengers departed and reloaded. You see, in my pre-travel brilliance, I booked a flight with no lay-over. We had one stop in San Diego, but we weren't allowed to get off. I think I am losing my common sense. I have made one bad choice after another.
Richie spent the little more than an hour to Oakland acting like an angel. He fooled all the new passengers into thinking he was a blue-eyed flirt and nothing more. How could eyes so blue ever squeeze out tears? Just ask the two guys who were sitting next to us, but moved for the second part of the flight. Yes, that's right; I scared two large Mexican men into giving up their seats. I owe it all to my little screamer.
Richie decided that since he was such a trooper on part two of the flight that he could poop all over us. It's a California-bound ritual. Not one that I particularly like.
Poop covered and exhausted, we made it.
I forgot how many buildings there were...
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